Laughing My Head Off

We got this in our email today. I was laughing so hard. It said it wasn't one of those mushy, sensitive friend emails.

1. When you are sad,
I will jump on the person
who made you sad
like a spider monkey
jacked up on Mountain Dew!!!

2. When you are blue,
I will try to dislodge
whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile,
I will know you are
plotting something
that I must be involved in.

4. When you're scared,
we will high tail it out of here.

5. When you are worried,
I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse
it could be until you
quit whining, ya big baby!!!!

6. When you are confused,
I will use little words.

7. When you are sick,
Stay away from me
until you are well again
I don't want whatever you have....

8. When you fall,
I'll pick you up
and dust you off--
After I laugh my rear off!!

9. This is my oath...
I pledge it to the end.
'Why?' you may ask;
-- because you are my FRIEND!